Tickets Please
Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 14:45
Posted by Marcel Strigberger
It's getting increasingly difficult to fight a parking ticket.
I recently approached my car one fine morning as it was stationed comfortably on my driveway in Thornhill (also known as the City of Vaughan, the "City above Toronto"). Suddenly I noticed a ticket also sitting comfortably on my windshield. The offence section read...”Park on boulevard, By-Law section 4(6) (h) (ii) as amended."
I got curious. To me a boulevard is something like the Champs-Elysees. My two car driveway in Thornhill bears no resemblance to the Champs. I decided to investigate further.
In the good old days if you received a ticket you could just sign the back of it indicating you wanted a trial and then months later the court would notify you of the big day. You would show up in Court and win as the infractions' officer had better things to do that day than attending Court. Good luck now.
The ticket was quite clear that if you wanted to fight it, you could not mail in a not guilty plea. You firstly had to attend at some municipal office in Maple, near the shadows of Canada's Wonderland, where you would be instructed further. In bold lettering the ticket admonished, "DO NOT ASK FOR A TRIAL THOUGH THE MAIL. SORRY. HA HA".
It listed a telephone number and read, "For your convenience, call to make an appointment".
I called and a voice mail message came on. In Italian. Then in Portuguese. Then in Chinese. After 15 minutes, it said in English, "Still want to fight that ticket? No problem. Just push 3."
I complied. A lady's voice advised, "You have a number of options, depending on the offence committed. If you are charged with parking within 10 meters of a Japanese sushi restaurant, push 1...."
I was determined. Fifteen minutes later my offence came up. I pushed 43.
The voice continued, "If you were driving a Ford Edsel, push 1".
I dreaded to think of what would have happened had they not considered our convenience.
Twenty three minutes later my Toyota Camry came up and I pushed 62. I am pleased to say the voice neglected to mention a 1953 Studebaker.
The message then said, "Your call is most important to us. "If your traffic violation officer was called Zezi Zoroaster, please press 4."
It only took 10 minutes for Ron Smith to surface. Once I hit number 18 guess what? A real voice came on. I spoke to a lady who wanted to make an appointment with me. I asked if I could just set a trial date and she said, "No, we have to discuss this matter in person. This is serious."
I suppose in York Region there is probably a rash of Edsels parking right in front of Japanese sushi places.
She gave me an appointment for three weeks later with a George Langley.
When I arrived at the main municipal offices and I announced my business to the security guard he was very gracious; he frisked me. He then told me to park my car in the lot and he directed me to the violations office, which was located in a portable building, "just a short walk through the garden around the back of the main office." I arrived at the portable ten minutes later after crossing over a field laced with poison ivy.
As I entered, the receptionist hid under her desk. Ten minutes later she surfaced and said, "Hi, just looking for my contacts. Please have a seat. Mr. Welldrick will be with you shortly."
"Mr. Welldrick?” I queried. "I'm here to see George Langley."
She hesitated and replied, "George Langley? Is he new here?"
She got on the phone and made some inquiries. Then she went for a coffee break. When she returned, she said, "Oh yes, we do have a George Langley working here. But he is off today. He decided to spend the day with his family at Wonderland."
I asked whether I could meet some other person, perhaps Mr. Welldrick.
She replied, "Were you parked within 13.25 meters of a Belgian chocolate factory? Mr. Welldrick is doing those today."
Although there were two boxes of Godiva chocolates in my house, I did not think this qualified. I immediately booked another appointment with Mr. Langley for January 11. This way I knew at least he would not be at Wonderland. As I left the lady took out a box and offered me a chocolate.
I made the trek back to the parking lot and I got into my car. As I as about to take off I noticed something stuck to my windshield. It was a ticket. It read, "Offence: parking in designated lot on day that George Langley is at Wonderland."
My car is now up for sale.
I recently approached my car one fine morning as it was stationed comfortably on my driveway in Thornhill (also known as the City of Vaughan, the "City above Toronto"). Suddenly I noticed a ticket also sitting comfortably on my windshield. The offence section read...”Park on boulevard, By-Law section 4(6) (h) (ii) as amended."
I got curious. To me a boulevard is something like the Champs-Elysees. My two car driveway in Thornhill bears no resemblance to the Champs. I decided to investigate further.
In the good old days if you received a ticket you could just sign the back of it indicating you wanted a trial and then months later the court would notify you of the big day. You would show up in Court and win as the infractions' officer had better things to do that day than attending Court. Good luck now.
The ticket was quite clear that if you wanted to fight it, you could not mail in a not guilty plea. You firstly had to attend at some municipal office in Maple, near the shadows of Canada's Wonderland, where you would be instructed further. In bold lettering the ticket admonished, "DO NOT ASK FOR A TRIAL THOUGH THE MAIL. SORRY. HA HA".
It listed a telephone number and read, "For your convenience, call to make an appointment".
I called and a voice mail message came on. In Italian. Then in Portuguese. Then in Chinese. After 15 minutes, it said in English, "Still want to fight that ticket? No problem. Just push 3."
I complied. A lady's voice advised, "You have a number of options, depending on the offence committed. If you are charged with parking within 10 meters of a Japanese sushi restaurant, push 1...."
I was determined. Fifteen minutes later my offence came up. I pushed 43.
The voice continued, "If you were driving a Ford Edsel, push 1".
I dreaded to think of what would have happened had they not considered our convenience.
Twenty three minutes later my Toyota Camry came up and I pushed 62. I am pleased to say the voice neglected to mention a 1953 Studebaker.
The message then said, "Your call is most important to us. "If your traffic violation officer was called Zezi Zoroaster, please press 4."
It only took 10 minutes for Ron Smith to surface. Once I hit number 18 guess what? A real voice came on. I spoke to a lady who wanted to make an appointment with me. I asked if I could just set a trial date and she said, "No, we have to discuss this matter in person. This is serious."
I suppose in York Region there is probably a rash of Edsels parking right in front of Japanese sushi places.
She gave me an appointment for three weeks later with a George Langley.
When I arrived at the main municipal offices and I announced my business to the security guard he was very gracious; he frisked me. He then told me to park my car in the lot and he directed me to the violations office, which was located in a portable building, "just a short walk through the garden around the back of the main office." I arrived at the portable ten minutes later after crossing over a field laced with poison ivy.
As I entered, the receptionist hid under her desk. Ten minutes later she surfaced and said, "Hi, just looking for my contacts. Please have a seat. Mr. Welldrick will be with you shortly."
"Mr. Welldrick?” I queried. "I'm here to see George Langley."
She hesitated and replied, "George Langley? Is he new here?"
She got on the phone and made some inquiries. Then she went for a coffee break. When she returned, she said, "Oh yes, we do have a George Langley working here. But he is off today. He decided to spend the day with his family at Wonderland."
I asked whether I could meet some other person, perhaps Mr. Welldrick.
She replied, "Were you parked within 13.25 meters of a Belgian chocolate factory? Mr. Welldrick is doing those today."
Although there were two boxes of Godiva chocolates in my house, I did not think this qualified. I immediately booked another appointment with Mr. Langley for January 11. This way I knew at least he would not be at Wonderland. As I left the lady took out a box and offered me a chocolate.
I made the trek back to the parking lot and I got into my car. As I as about to take off I noticed something stuck to my windshield. It was a ticket. It read, "Offence: parking in designated lot on day that George Langley is at Wonderland."
My car is now up for sale.
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