Warning Signs?
Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 00:00
By Marcel Strigberger
Being a lawyer, it does not sit well with me to see companies trying to wiggle out of legal responsibilities. I abhor those "We are not responsible" signs. It was therefore with some trepidation that I recently went on my first ever ski trip.
I pulled into the parking lot of the Winter Wonderland Can't Help But Have a Good Time Valley Ski Centre. I observed a sign reading, "Not responsible for damage to cars." I mentioned it to my wife and she said, "You're the only person who ever notices these. It's only a sign."
Only a sign? You don't say that to a lawyer. That's like telling a bull, "Hey, it's only a red cape."
We then went inside to rent equipment. The place required you to sign a form containing a large waiver in red that read "The ticket holder agrees that the centre is not responsible for any loss, injury, death or other inconveniences. HOWEVER CAUSED. If you don't like it you can turn around and make that two-hour trip back to Toronto and have your kids chew your head off in the car."
No, not the kids ordeal. I realized this place had me over a barrel.
Fifteen minutes later I headed out to the slopes after figuring out how to get my skis on.
There were several runs and it was not too hard to deduce their degree of toughness from their names. It did not take an Olympic downhiller to conclude that ama-teurs had best avoid slopes such as Matterhorn Maniac or Tyrolian Devil's Drop. I headed straight for Pampers Playhill.
As I queued up for the chairlift, (yes, it did require a lift to get up even there) I caught another notice nearby reading "Do not ride this conveyance if you ever contemplate suing us for stalls, falls, or electric shock. No insurance. Have a nice day."
When I got to my chair, an attendant made me initial a form which acknowledged that I saw the sign. He must have seen me pulling my toque over my eyes.
We arrived at the summit 15 seconds later. Okay, so it wasn't Mont Blanc. I aimed myself in a downward direction and off I went. I took a spill right after bellowing my "Geronimo".
As I tried to stand up, a bevy of assistants in orange outfits ran over to my aid. I told one orange lady I was okay but a bit shaken up. She whipped out a form asking me to initial line 14 which read, "Notwithstanding that I have just taken a spill, I feel fine, even better than before."
I next expected a St. Bernard to attend and offer me some brandy, (after signing a waiver for him of course).
But the dog did not arrive and so I inched my way off the hill and headed to the cafeteria for some hot chocolate. As I paid the cashier she pointed to the placard on the wall which stated "Food poisoning is a known risk of eating. But it's not our risk."
I thought about that lady in New Mexico who successfully sued McDonald's for thousands for burns suffered after spilling hot coffee on herself while driving her car. I realized in this place you might have trouble getting a loonie even if the owner turned out to be another Lizzy Borden who went around whacking patrons on the head with a snowboard.
At the end of the day I appreciated that this trip had been a total success; I got to the parking lot and my car was still there.
All I had to do now was find my way to the main highway. I asked the parking lot attendant. He gave some directions and lifted the gate after I acknowledged to him in writing that he was not responsible if he was mistaken.
Being a lawyer, it does not sit well with me to see companies trying to wiggle out of legal responsibilities. I abhor those "We are not responsible" signs. It was therefore with some trepidation that I recently went on my first ever ski trip.
I pulled into the parking lot of the Winter Wonderland Can't Help But Have a Good Time Valley Ski Centre. I observed a sign reading, "Not responsible for damage to cars." I mentioned it to my wife and she said, "You're the only person who ever notices these. It's only a sign."
Only a sign? You don't say that to a lawyer. That's like telling a bull, "Hey, it's only a red cape."
We then went inside to rent equipment. The place required you to sign a form containing a large waiver in red that read "The ticket holder agrees that the centre is not responsible for any loss, injury, death or other inconveniences. HOWEVER CAUSED. If you don't like it you can turn around and make that two-hour trip back to Toronto and have your kids chew your head off in the car."
No, not the kids ordeal. I realized this place had me over a barrel.
Fifteen minutes later I headed out to the slopes after figuring out how to get my skis on.
There were several runs and it was not too hard to deduce their degree of toughness from their names. It did not take an Olympic downhiller to conclude that ama-teurs had best avoid slopes such as Matterhorn Maniac or Tyrolian Devil's Drop. I headed straight for Pampers Playhill.
As I queued up for the chairlift, (yes, it did require a lift to get up even there) I caught another notice nearby reading "Do not ride this conveyance if you ever contemplate suing us for stalls, falls, or electric shock. No insurance. Have a nice day."
When I got to my chair, an attendant made me initial a form which acknowledged that I saw the sign. He must have seen me pulling my toque over my eyes.
We arrived at the summit 15 seconds later. Okay, so it wasn't Mont Blanc. I aimed myself in a downward direction and off I went. I took a spill right after bellowing my "Geronimo".
As I tried to stand up, a bevy of assistants in orange outfits ran over to my aid. I told one orange lady I was okay but a bit shaken up. She whipped out a form asking me to initial line 14 which read, "Notwithstanding that I have just taken a spill, I feel fine, even better than before."
I next expected a St. Bernard to attend and offer me some brandy, (after signing a waiver for him of course).
But the dog did not arrive and so I inched my way off the hill and headed to the cafeteria for some hot chocolate. As I paid the cashier she pointed to the placard on the wall which stated "Food poisoning is a known risk of eating. But it's not our risk."
I thought about that lady in New Mexico who successfully sued McDonald's for thousands for burns suffered after spilling hot coffee on herself while driving her car. I realized in this place you might have trouble getting a loonie even if the owner turned out to be another Lizzy Borden who went around whacking patrons on the head with a snowboard.
At the end of the day I appreciated that this trip had been a total success; I got to the parking lot and my car was still there.
All I had to do now was find my way to the main highway. I asked the parking lot attendant. He gave some directions and lifted the gate after I acknowledged to him in writing that he was not responsible if he was mistaken.
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© 2007 Marcel Strigberger. This article CANNOT be copied or reproduced in any way without the expressed written consent of the Author.
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