Lloyd's Knows

Lloyd’s of London has underwritten yet another interesting insurance policy. It has insured the nose of Ilja Gort, the producer of Tulipe Wines, a French winery, for almost $8 million. Ilja claims his nose can distinguish millions of different scents and should his sense of smell go, his career is over.

As most of us who have bought insurance know, insurance companies aren’t stupid. They do not underwrite a policy without carefully researching the insured. Usually there is that questionnaire they make you fill out in order to assess their potential risk. I wonder what some of the questions in this nose application were. I can only guess:

1 - Have you ever had difficulty distinguishing between the scent of a 2004 Merlot from Chateau Lafayette and a 2003 Niagara Falls Baby Duck?

2 - Has your nose ever been denied or received rated insurance coverage in the past?

3 - In the last 12 months have you or has anybody else picked your nose?

4a) Do you smoke?

4b) If your answer to 4a) is “yes”, do you ever put cigarettes up your nose?

5 - When is the last time you confused the scent of a 1998 Duc de la Foret, Beaujolet and a 2006 Australian Jumping Kangaroo Riesling?

6 - When you went to the circus, did a clown ever throw a cream pie into your face?

7a) Are your parents still alive?

7b) If you answered “yes” to 7(a), do they smell good?

8 - How many times per week to you think you’re a beagle?

9 - In the last 12 months, have you changed a diaper?

10 - While dining at a fine restaurant, have you ever sniffed the wine bottle cork only to have it sucked up into your nose?

Lloyd’s is known to insure body parts, including those of celebrities such as dancer Fred Astaire, who insured his legs. I wonder if Bill Clinton or Eliot Spitzer have approached Lloyd’s for insurance to cover their important parts.