Mr. Chair, You're Unconstitutional

The Supreme Court in the state of Nebraska has struck down capital punishment by electric chair as being unconstitutional, citing that it is cruel and unusual punishment. The judges called electrocution as the mode of punishment something out of Baron Frankenstein. Of interest is that there was one dissent on the panel, namely Justice Heavican, who did not share his brethren’s views on the issue. As well the state’s governor, Dave Heinman, also said he was “appalled” by the court’s decision.

Okay. What do these dissenters think about death by electric chair? That it is not cruel and unusual punishment? That it is actually a pleasure for a felon to get executed this way?

Have they done surveys and received responses from any former convicts to confirm their opinions? Maybe they did. Perhaps some of the responses were:

“Hey, this chair’s great. I’ve never had a high like this before.” “You know, I hear in most states they give you a lethal injection. I hate needles. I’d take the chair anytime.” “I noticed the electric chair is manufactured by Westinghouse. This sure is an American way to go.” “A-1. And sure beats the gallows and firing squad where you have to stand the whole time.” “Nothing like it. I sure wish they would sell these at Ikea”.

It is incredible to think that the dissenting judge and the governor do not share the court majority’s views. It’s not as if the court struck down capital punishment in Nebraska. They only said that the state should adopt a more humane form of execution due to the fact that many convicts so executed had suffered intense and agonizing pain, including broken bones and burns.
And what would Heavican and Heinman call life in prison with no chance for parol? Club Med? Or rather club Neb?

I always thought Nebraska was one of these harmless states where they simply raise corn and have country fairs and speak English with no accent. Like Kansas, but without Dorothy and Auntie Emm.

Now I wonder. I for one would be very careful before getting on any ride in an amusement park.