A Tale of Two Benjies

Benjamin Lowell of Brooklyn N.Y. woke up one day to find $5.8 million in his bank account. Presumably he felt his prayers were answered and he started spending it, going through about $2 million of it for gifts, jewelry and failed investments. Eventually Benjamin found out the Almighty had nothing to do with the sudden deposit. It seems the money was trust money, belonging to another Benjamin Lowell. The police also agreed that the source of this cash was not of a divine nature and they charged him with grand larceny.

Of interest is the comment by his lawyer that her client did not intend to steal the money. Said lawyer notes that the bank made certain comments to her client which lead him to believe he could spend the money no problem. She advises that these comments will be publicized in court.

I have no idea what these comments could have been. I can only guess:

• Today is Benjamin Lowell Day. If that is your name, what you see in your account is yours;

• Finders keepers. Possession is nine points of the law;

• We are not your average big bank. In our bank, customer satisfaction is all that counts.

• Congratulations. You sent back that “YES” marker to our promotion mailing wherein we asked you whether you would like us to deposit $5.8 million into your account. Well here it is. We’ll bet you thought this was a hoax;

• The cash was really deposited to your account for you by Howie Mandel. Do you want it? Deal or no deal?

I wait with baited breath to find out what Benjamin Lowell’s defense is. Meanwhile, wouldn’t we all just love to hear the bank’s explanation to the other Benjamin Lowell when he noticed the $2 million shortfall:

• Oh, there are two of you? Ha ha;

• Sorry sir, but you never purchased our namesake confusion insurance;

• Our bank cares most about customer satisfaction. But only one Benjamin Lowell per customer.

Although we should not prejudge this one, unless his lawyer pulls off a brilliant coup, my bet is that this will be a case of “bank error in your favour, go directly to jail”.