Where’s Eddie?

High profile criminal lawyer Edward Greenspan is about to start a complex trial defending former Livent chief Garth Drabinsky on fraud related charges. As well he is also representing former Mexican, now Canadian, prisoner Brenda Martin, in her endeavours to secure parole.  And not long ago he was in Chicago for several months fighting to prove the innocence of Conrad Black. The question is, does Eddie Greenspan ever handle low profile and more minor cases? 

Well here is the latest.  Edward Greenspan’s next case is about a gentleman who got a $35.00 parking ticket after his meter ran out.  Mr Greenspan is keeping this one low profile. “I intend to pursue my client’s rights with vigour as every individual in this country is entitled to equal justice before the law,” he told reporters at a press conference at his office.

He is raising several defences to the charge.  Firstly he will be arguing that his client never parked “a motor vehicle” at the meter.  Eddie Greenspan will be calling several witnesses including musicology Professor Duncan K. MacTavish of the University of Edinburgh, to prove that a Mazda 3 is not really a car, but rather a trombone. 

“Nowhere does the legislation require you to feed the meter when you park a trombone,” said Mr. Greenspan. 

Eddie will also be assailing the parking meter itself, arguing that the meter’s readings are not credible in that the meter in question, namely meter number WX-345-06, has recently been convicted of assaulting two unsuspecting passing tourists from Kansas.

Said Mr Greenspan, “We’ll demonstrate that the meter will say anything to get a soft sentence deal from the prosecution, in return for testifying against my client.”

When asked whether or not he intends to put his client on the stand, he replied, “There is no evidence that my client owned or drove the vehicle.  All indication is that the Mazda 3, manufactured outside of Tokyo, was a stowaway on a ship.  Once it landed in Toronto, it found its way to the alleged crime scene at Queen Street and University Ave where it parked itself after being  induced to do so by that offensive meter.”

When further interviewed by the media, Eddie indicated he had many more arguments to make in proving his client’s innocence but he did not want to disclose all the cards up his sleeve.  He told reporters there will be many surprises during the course of the trial, which is expected to last about four weeks.

At the conclusion of the press conference, Edward Greenspan said, “See, nobody can accuse me of taking on only high profile cases”.