Legal Humour Moments

I generally return communications from my colleagues. Generally. It seems in one case George Fizpatrick had been trying to get my attention. Somehow I ignored his couple of letters and his telephone message.  It was not intentional of course. It’s just that I must have gotten distracted by other matters, perhaps the economy, terrorism or the recent increase in the price of Tim Hortons Timbits. These things do happen.  I do like George Fitzpatrick.  So what did George do? He did not send me a nasty letter threatening to bring a motion within 24 hours or asking me what grade...

Three things in life bug me: tailgaters, the smell of vinegar, and lawyers who do not get back to me.  There is not much I can do about the first two scourges but I have found an effective way to get those ignoring lawyers’ attention, civilly and effectively.  The trilogy.   Where a lawyer ignores my communications a couple of times, I send a letter that looks like this:Dear X (not usually the other lawyer’s name, but could be):I can think of only 3 reasons why you have not responded to me:  I have not responded to you in the past...

Have you ever experienced the frustration of people you really want to hear from, not getting back to you? I have a malpractice matter going and a certain doctor was recommended to me as my would be expert.  Due to her expertise in a sub specialty she was reportedly it.  This physician unfortunately is extremely busy and hard to get hold of. I sent her a couple of letters which went unanswered.  Follow ups with her assistant and a voicemail message or two did not do the trick.  It came to my attention from a colleague that a couple of...

Massachusetts is repairing and upgrading the LongFellow Bridge over the Charles River. Built in 1907 with decorative stone and lined with cast iron trim, the design is a lost art and way too expensive to replicate. The government decided to remove the iron trim at each stage of the construction and store it in a public works yard. When translated into the language of certain public servants, this means, “Take the opportunity to load the cast iron trim onto a government truck and take it to a scrap metal yard where it can be sold for personal profit.” The market...

This guy had his truck repossessed by a large corporate bank. A corporate bank with over a trillion dollars in assets.Normally, the story would end there, but in this instance, the problem was that this guy was homeless and all of his worldly possessions were in the back of his truck. Before the truck was auctioned off, the repo company took all of his possessions and threw them into a open storage bin located outside their building. This guy went to a law firm looking to sue the Repo company for property damages of his possessions, which he valued at...

As any experienced trial attorney knows, in the small suburban and rural courts that dominate a state's legal system, it's not “what you know” but “who you know” that really matters. The local district courts of the liberal, free-thinking state of Massachusetts are no different. As an old school trial attorney once told me, if you leave the Boston area with a copy of the Rules of Civil and Criminal Procedure, you automatically become one of the smartest and prepared trial attorneys in the territory. A woman contacted a colleague of mine about defending a small legal fee claim of...

An attorney friend recently became involved in a case in which a criminal defendant had, with the assistance of his defense counsel, worked out a plea agreement with the prosecution in which he would plead guilty to an indictment in exchange for the prosecution and the court's sentencing him to five years of imprisonment. The problem with this plea agreement was that the indicted charge by statute had a maximum penalty of two years. This problem was not discovered by a jail house lawyer until the defendant was four and a half years into his sentence, at which point the...

The city I live in has come up with a unique way to generate revenue. My city, like most metropolitan cities, has strict residential parking laws. If your car does not have a residential parking sticker during weekday hours, your car will be ticketed. And the Ticket Police love roaming the neighborhood to hand out these tickets (to raise revenue, I suspect). Sounds reasonable so far. The issue arises when your residential parking sticker comes up for renewal. You see, you need to bring in your old residential parking sticker in order to receive your new residential parking sticker. Now,...

Here's a humorous (real) announcement: UW Law School Alumni Association presents: The Story of the Tri Hoang Case, A Victim Who Taught Two Attorneys that Fighting Honorably and Using Good Techniques Can Lead to Great Results."Fighting Honorably"? "Using Good Technique"? Where is the reference to catching flies with chopsticks and being flexible like the willow? Maybe this will go straight to a made-for-TV movie, with Jackie Chan and Jet Li playing the high-kicking attorneys who have learned to Fight Honorably and kick insurance company butt. At least the Victim Taught them how to get Great Results. Too bad someone didn't...

Some idle drafting to deal with an ageless problem. DATE DISCLAIMER While you have agreed to meet me socially on the time and in the place stipulated in Schedule 1 annexed hereto (the date), for the purposes of avoiding future misunderstandings,  conflict and unmet expectations, it must be clearly understood and accepted by you that while I will exercise all reasonable efforts to ensure the date is of a divertingly enjoyable nature (to which end I will apply a reasonable effort and chat in a workmanlike,  considerate and urbane manner,  and appear to apparently show interest in your personal life...