Legal Humour News - March 31, 2008

Hi and welcome to this week's newsletter. If it's in the news and it's got a legal slant, we'll do a blawg on it.
 
Former Vancouver Canuck,Todd Bertuzzi who is being sued by Steve Moore for $38 million for assaulting him and ending his hockey career, has decided to drag his former coach into the case via a Third Party claim, saying it was all the coach's fault.
 
Marcel suggests that Bertuzzi is not going far enough and that he should also add to the claim a list of other obvious culprits, such as the arena organ player. 
 
Please enjoy Bertuzzi Shoots...Everywhere.
 
Also have fun reading our other recent blawgs including Mexican Justice- iAy Caramba, which contains crucial legal tips and is a must read for anyone contemplating getting into trouble like Brenda Martin, in Mexico.  
 
We may as well stick to hockey now that the Leafs aren't playing it anymore. Our feature piece from the trove of legal humour is Nebish v. Oscar's Arena, et al. It is a case about the stadium fan who gets hit by a flying hot dog.
 
It could happen to you (though not at the Air Canada Centre for the next little while).

And finally, we are pleased to announce that Legalhumour.com is this week’s Feature Site on the Access to Justice Network’s site, ACJnet.org – Canada’s connection to the world of law and justice.

Odd or Amusing Legal Stories from the Past Week:

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1 - See You In Court!

U.S. Judge Sentences 3 Men To Learn English Or Go To Jail
A Pennsylvania judge known for creative sentencing has ordered three Spanish-speaking men to learn English or go to jail. Judge Peter Paul Olszewski says the men, who faced prison for criminal conspiracy to commit robbery, can remain on parole if they learn to read and write English. They must also earn their high school equivalency degrees and get full-time jobs.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/27/judge.sentence.ap/index.html

Russian Farmer Sues Space Agency For Falling Rocket
A shepherd is suing Russia's space agency for compensation after he said a 10-foot-long chunk of metal from a space rocket fell into his yard, just missing his outdoor toilet. The shepherd, who is asking for 1 million roubles ($42,000) from the Roskosmos agency, lives in a small village that lies underneath the flight path of rockets taking off from the Baikonur launchpad Russia leases in nearby Kazakhstan.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL2621415320080327

Judge Sentences Man 10 Days Per Word
A man has talked himself into nearly two years in jail after threatening to kill a Tennessee criminal court judge. The man has been held in contempt and sentenced to 10 days per word after a judge ordered him to stop the threatening comments.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_talkative_defendant

2 - Crime and Punishment

New Zealand Court Sentences Man After Wombat Rape Claim
A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he had been raped by a wombat and the experience had caused him to start speaking "Australian".
http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5haQ6m9WGjn1n6rlkukC8srxeTmvA

Man Accidentally Paroled Turns Self In
A prisoner who was mistakenly released by the New York State Department of Corrections is back in custody after turning himself in.
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6047587

Cook Accused of Spitting on Fan's Burger
A fast-food cook and Seattle Seahawks fan has been accused of spitting on a hamburger ordered by a man wearing Pittsburgh Steelers attire.
http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Mar28/0,4670,ODDSpitOnBurger,00.html

Alleged Safe Thief Asks For Phone Call
An alleged thief wasn't fazed when workers at a Chicago muffler shop told him a safe he wanted to rob wasn't open. He just asked them to give him a call when their boss returned with the combination.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_thief_caught

3 - Politics, Law, and Governance

Mexican Bull Thrown In Jail
A prisoner is behind bars in southern Mexico for acting beastly. Residents of a town in the southern state of Chiapas say the bull devoured their corn crops and destroyed two wooden shops. So they had it thrown in the slammer. Police say the bull will not be released until the owner pays damages, to be determined by a local judge.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/03/28/5134361-ap.html

Naked Calendar Forces Sask. To Re-Pave Road
The citizens of southwest Saskatchewan have learned just how influential a middle-aged man with a camera standing naked in a pothole can be. The provincial government announced that it will fix Highway 32 - a broken stretch of blacktop between Swift Current and Leader - a year after people in the area doffed their clothes and made a calendar to draw attention to the state of their crumbling road.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/03/26/5111491-cp.html

UK Treasury Chief Banned From Pubs Over Beer Tax Hike
An Internet campaign to ban Britain's treasury chief from the country's pubs seems to be striking a chord. Earlier this month, treasury chief Alistair Darling raised taxes on cars and cigarettes. But it is his new alcohol duties - which raised the price of a pint of beer - that have Britons' backs up.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/03/27/5124376-ap.html

Aussie Town Chooses Mayor By Drawing Name From Trash Can
For Ed Warren, becoming mayor of the Australian Outback town Winton was the luck of the draw from a trash can. The cattle farming town famous as the birthplace of Australia's unofficial anthem "Waltzing Matilda" chose its new mayor by drawing a name from a trash can after local elections ended in a draw.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/03/27/5114626-ap.html

S. Korea Creates New Logo For Spas To Differentiate From 'Love Motels'
South Korea is introducing new signs for its hot spring spas to remove any confusion for those seeking other kinds of steamy liaisons. The sign replaces a nearly century-old red icon — a circle with rising wisps of steam that have been appropriated by “love motels,” which offer prostitution or short stays for couples having extramarital relations.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/03/25/5097216-ap.html

4 - And Now for Something Completely Different

Greeting Cards For Prison Inmates Hit The Market
For years, the greeting card industry has been pretty much the same. You can get a million different messages that say "Happy Birthday", "Congratulations," "Best Wishes For Your Engagement/Wedding," "In Sympathy," "Get Well Soon" and on and on. So the lawyer with the unlikely name of Terrye L. Cheathem decided to start her own line just for the incarcerated. The prison greeting cards quite literally target a captive audience and are made for friends and relatives to send to inmates on the appropriate occasion.
http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_20996.aspx

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