Legal Humour News - April 12, 2010

Odd or Amusing Legal Headlines from the Past Week (or Two):

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1 - See You In Court!

Judge calls hockey player an ‘asshole’
Junior hockey player Chris Doyle won the day in court, but not before being subjected to a tongue-lashing from a P.E.I. judge. Doyle was found not guilty of assault after drunkenly punching a door that struck a woman in the face and broke her nose. Doyle maintains he didn't know the woman was there. Judge John Douglas said, “If he was charged with being a colossal asshole, I would find him guilty.”
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2010/04/09/pei-doyle-assault-verdict-584.html

Dubai upholds British pair's jail term over kiss
A Dubai court upheld a one-month jail sentence given to a British pair for kissing in public. The British man living in Dubai and a female friend were arrested in November on charges of kissing intimately in public and consuming alcohol. An Emirati mother had complained her child had seen their indiscretion. The case is the third time in under two years that Britons have fallen foul of indecency laws in Dubai, a Muslim emirate popular with sun-seeking Western tourists and expatriates.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6342IN20100406

Longtime Colorado judge fired after issuing arrest warrant for teen who didn't return DVD 
A longtime judge has been fired after issuing an arrest warrant for a teenager over an overdue library DVD. Municipal Judge James Kimmel issued the warrant after 19-year-old Aaron Henson failed to show up in court Jan. 14 over the overdue DVD, "House of Flying Daggers." On Jan. 25, police stopped the teen for speeding and held him for nearly eight hours after discovering the warrant.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/100407/koddities/us_odd_overdue_dvd

2 - Crime and Punishment

Man fleeing police jumps fence — into prison
Police say a motorist fleeing officers in Cleveland abandoned his car and jumped a fence — landing in what turned out to be a prison yard.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2010/03/30/13412851-ap.html

SWAT team responds to stolen pizza
Police say a plot to steal a delivery man’s pizza brought out a SWAT team in Alaska. A man trying to deliver a pizza order was confronted outside a northeast Anchorage home by a man with a gun and a stick. He says three other people attacked him from behind, grabbed the pizza but ran away without taking his money.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2010/03/23/13327591-ap.html

German corpse was still alive at airport, wife says
A German woman arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle a corpse onto a plane says her husband was still alive when they reached Liverpool airport. Gitta Jarant and her daughter were arrested at Liverpool's John Lennon airport suspected of failing to give notice of Willi's death. She told the paper the 91-year-old former pilot had died at the airport just before the flight.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6382WA20100409

Man gets 15 years for prison break-in
A Florida man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for trying to break back into the jail where he had been held following his conviction in a manslaughter case.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62N52L20100324

3 - Politics, Law, and Governance

Edmonton man renames himself 'God'
God confesses to be a convicted criminal who spent five years in prison for trying to smuggle a suitcase of marijuana into Japan. He also lives in Edmonton, and, thank God for name changes. A college student formerly known as John Paul LaPointe fought the Alberta government to have his moniker changed to God Dieux - and won.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2010/03/24/13346956-qmi.html

Church issues prayers for confused UK voters
The Church of England has published prayers to help confused and cynical voters ahead of Britain's upcoming election. Britons are due to go to the polls this spring with many voters disenchanted after a parliamentary expenses scandal that saw lawmakers from all the main parties make excessive claims ranging from bath plugs to moat cleaning.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62O4XR20100325

German city pays 100,000 euros to find dead cobra
Authorities in the German city of Muelheim spent 100,000 euros on a three week mission to recover a missing snake -- only to discover it had died.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/100409/odds/odd_us_germany_snake_odd

4 - And Now for Something Completely Different

Teen learns of her dismissal through Facebook
A 16-year-old British girl was in tears recently after she logged on to her Facebook page and discovered she had been fired from her job. Chelsea Taylor lost her job after she misplaced about $15 (10 pounds) while picking up biscuits for the staff. Her manager wrote on Taylor's wall because she said she couldn't reach the teen by phone.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2010/03/22/13317521-qmi.html