I just returned from a trip in Florida. What caught my eye most is not the great weather, nor the kilometres of super beaches, nor the cultural scenes. What really hit me was lawyer advertising. You cannot open your television or walk around the block without getting slapped by yet another personal injury lawyer ad.
In fact you don''t even have to open your television to get smitten by these ads. When I checked into my hotel room I opened my night table drawer and I noticed a yellow pages directory. On the front cover there was an ad that listed a law firm's name and info, including "Injured in an accident? Call us first. You can check out the Gideon bible later".
They even have easy to remember phone numbers. You will see some that read like, 1-800-111-1111. In our jurisdiction that number will more likely get you a pizza. I even saw one that read something like, "Injured? Just call 1-800-not-pain." I am sure some in your face high profile outfit that is rougher than the roughest will soon come up with the ultimate contact: "Injured? Call any phone number. You will reach us".
I even saw a bus or rather a number of municipal buses in Fort Lauderdale bearing a full bus ad for a personal injury firm. These lawyers take ambulance chasing to a new dimension. They use buses to chase ambulances!
And many of them boast about having offices throughout Florida. Just call us. If there is no office near where you live, we'll open one for you.
And then they have the sub-specialists. While driving on the highway I-95 I saw a billboard that read, "Motorcycle accident? Call the lawyer who rides a Harley."
Another ad reads, "Chosen by Super Lawyers Magazine". I have heard of great lawyers but what in the world is a super lawyer? He puts on his robe in a phone booth?
The phone book ads appear not under "lawyers" but rather under "attorneys". After gazing through these ads for a few minutes, I needed a break and so I flipped back a few pages and just before attorneys I came across "asphalt ." I saw an ad for a "Dr Asphalt". This was rather refreshing. At least he did not boast, "as seen on TV", "want a second opinion" or "chosen by Super Asphalt Magazine."
I have recently retired from the practice of law, choosing now to amuse rather than litigate. If you like my stuff, and want a speaker/humourist to entertain and enchant your group, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.