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Legal Humour Blog

 

December 2013

A Tale of Two Restaurants

Dec 15, 2013 11:30 AM
Marcel Strigberger

        Who likes French fries?  Some like it hot. A 26 year old man in Paris drove up to a McDonalds drive thru and ordered fries. Apparently they were cold. This did not sit well with the gentleman and he expressed himself rather assertively. He pulled out an axe and smashed the drive through window.     

        Les gendarmes eventually caught up with him.  I don’t know what will happen in the future but I’ll bet 5 Euros that next time anyone at any McDonalds in Paris asks for an order of  hot pommes frites, they’ll get it.   

       We next move to Kentucky, but no fries.

       Some guy at  Fazoli's restaurant in Elizabethtown, Kentucky took a seat on the toilet. Unfortunately he left his loaded gun on the toilet paper dispenser. More unfortunately the gun dropped and discharged, shooting the cowboy in the foot.

        I see a lawsuit coming.  After all was it not reasonably forseeable by Fazoli that some patrons may wish to park their pistols on the toilet paper dispenser while doing their business? Any jury member with a pulse will readily agree that Fazoli breached its duty to ensure their customer had a safe place to keep his firearm while relieving himself.  Good thing for Fazoli the bullet only struck the guy in the foot.

       I know the late Lord Denning would have found for the plaintiff.  His Lordship always had a heart out for justice for the little guy.  And it did not take too long into his decision to get a good idea in which direction His Lordship was heading:

        DENNING  J.A.

    “It was a sunny day in December in Elizabethtown, Kentucky.   Bill Snively decided to patronize the Defendant Fazoli’s eating establishment for a pepperoni and mushroom pizza.  Mr Snively before commencing his dining experience visited the washing closet.  Little did he know he would not be eating his pizza.  As he sat down on the toilet, he placed his firearm on the toilet paper dispenser. He expected that to be a safe place for his Smith &Wesson. Unfortunately this was not so....

    To justice for all.

 

I practice personal injury/insurance law and family law from my heritage office in Thornhill . Please visit my website www.striglaw.com.  I am well experienced in handling restaurant claims.

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November 2013


Mayors

Nov 30, 2013 10:15 PM
Marcel Strigberger

     Let us talk about mayors. Not Rob Ford. He has had enough.  I can think of 3 other mayors who deserve some attention.

    The first is Jean Drapeau the former mayor of my hometown, Montreal. Mr Drapeau in the early 1970s after Montreal secured the 1976 summer Olympics was very optimistic about the games being economical.  He went on record saying that the likelihood of the Olympics losing money is about as great as that of a man getting pregnant. The Olympic debt ended up being about 1.5 billion dollars and it took taxpayers about 30 years to pay it off. However in his defense, when Mayor Drapeau made that assuring likelihood comment, he was actually telling the truth. His Worship was in his second trimester.

    The second high profile mayor is actor Clint Eastwood, former mayor of Carmel, California.  Actually I cannot imagine Clint Eastwood being a mayor. To me he will always be Dirty Harry, the San Francisco detective with the Magnum.  When I visualize a Clint Eastwood led Carmel city hall meeting, I do not see His Worship getting any opposition.  I see Clint E declaring, " I say we now vote for that new Carmel transit system.  I vote Yea. Any Nays?... Go ahead, make my day.....Good...unanimous."

    My third candidate for special mayors is the Mayor of Munchkin City.  I recently had the fun experience of watching the Wizard of Oz for the umpteenth time.  This time, given the controversy about Rob Ford, I focused on the Mayor. You will recall that he greets and thanks Dorothy after he realizes she just rid the city of  the wicked old witch.

    He says, "As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally. "

    His further expression of gratitude however is deferred until the Coroner ensures that the wicked witch is "morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.".

    His Worship certainly was thorough.

    The Coroner soon announces the results of his post mortem, to wit, that the wicked old witch is "not only merely dead but also most sincerely dead". The Mayor then  proclaims a day of celebration. This is my kind of mayor.

    If this scenario were to be played out in Toronto, we would all be joyous but no doubt in the midst of the festivities, the Toronto Star would come up with a story about a video showing the Mayor wearing a black conical hat and giving the witch's broom an oil change. And more than likely this story would probably be true.

 

              I practice personal injury and famliy law. Please visit www.striglaw.com .  I do not engage in witchhunts .

 

 

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Sex and Unjust Enrichment

Nov 20, 2013 9:49 PM
Marcel Strigberger

    Doriana Silva is suing Ashley Madison, that online dating for married folks, outfit. It seems A.M hired her to create 1000 fake profiles of attractive women, to lure unsuspecting men to their Brazil website. She was promised a starting salary of $34,000.00. She created the profiles in about 3 weeks but as a result she allegedly suffered permanent damage to her wrists and forearms.  She is suing for one million dollars in generals and punitives and, get this, $20 million for "unjust enrichment".

    Doing the math, that would be about $20,000 of unjust enrichment per fake woman. These women's profiles must be exceptional.  Actually I am not curious at all. Well, maybe slightly curious.  But I cannot imagine any sensible men  getting lured to that website.  I for one do not understand a single word of Portuguese. Anyways, the website does not readily come up if you Google it. I mentioned it, in passing o4f course, to my neighbour Manuel dos Santos and he could not assist.

    I don’t know what the fuss is all about.  I do not see a case for unjust enrichment at all. By the way, did you know Brazilian websites end in  ".BR"?

    I practice family and personal  injury law from my Thornhill office, just north of Toronto. Please visit my website at www.striglaw.com.  In Thornhill we do not visit those naughty Brazilian websites.at all. 

 

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No Glory, No Sex

Nov 7, 2013 9:58 PM
Marcel Strigberger

     Sex to follow.

    Here we go again. A Calgary school has axed the honour roll for high achieving students. The rational of the school mandarins is that honours for the winners often hurt the self esteem and pride of those who do not receive the awards. How thoughtful!

    Where would we be if the legal system adopted this attitude?  Imagine a 2 week jury trial and the judge's charge goes like this: "Please do not give this guy in the wheelchair a penny as making any award will shatter defense counsel's self esteem. "

    With school officials like these, those kids in Calgary will really be prepared for the outside world.

     Now for the sex. Let's go down under. The Australian High Court reversed a lower court decision that allowed a female government employee to get worker's compensation as a result an injury caused by a falling light fixture in a motel while she was having sex during a business trip.  The High Court held that she was not injured in the course of her employment.

     In short the High Court was saying having sex was not part of her job description.  I wonder what the evidence looked like. I would have liked to read her annual performance review.  Did she get any "A's"? In what? Exactly.

    Interestingly enough the decision was split 4-1. One justice agreed with the lower court ruling. If so, there is potential. If any of you plan to move to Australia, you may be interested in looking for a job with the government there.  I imagine most jobs in Ottawa entail only playing around with computers. 


Please visit my practice website www.striglaw.com . We do treat our clients with honour.

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October 2013


No Way and Norway

Oct 30, 2013 9:34 PM
Marcel Strigberger

    We were all set to welcome Mr Justice Marc Nadon to the Supreme Court of Canada.  Unfortunately a lawyer colleague of ours, whose name has appeared from time to time in the media, has decided to challenge this appointment arguing that Nadon J, a Federal Court judge, from Quebec, does not know enough Quebec law to qualify as one of three S.C.C. reps from Quebec.  The good judge, although sworn in, has stepped aside pending further determination of his status.

    My question is, what drives people like this lawyer  to spend time on causes like this?  I know most lawyers are busy representing clients who are injured, have matrimonial problems or are trying to get their insurers to pay out on a fire claim.  Which client is he serving?  I cannot imagine someone with a legal aid certificate coming to his office and saying, "Sir, there is this Federal Court judge who is being appointed to the Supreme Court of Canada and he knows diddly about Quebec law. Do something.”

    And what kind of continuing legal education courses does he take to satisfy the LSUC professional development requirements? I hear on his portal, he claimed 2 hours of credits for professional development for watching the movie, “The Terminator”.

    I wish him luck. I am talking about Justice Nadon.

    At least Nadon J had it better than that hunter in rural Norway who shot at a moose, missed, with the bullet piercing a nearby cabin striking a man in his seventies while sitting on the toilet.  Nadon J is definitely luckier than the guy on the toilet.  I suppose the moose is the luckiest. I wonder if he related this story to his fellow moose:

    “Suddenly I hear a shot and a bullet whizzes by my ear and hits old Olaf’s cabin....”
.
    Actually I spent a few minutes Googling “Moose in Norway laughing.”  Nothing yet. I'll try again tomorrow.

    And no, I don’t know if that old man in Norway is suing. I hear rumours that as he was startled, he uttered one word, “Dritt”.  I found that out while Googling about those moose.

    Don’t spend too much time on Google Translate.   It’s Norwegian for a substance that some people disturb.

 

I practice personal injury/insurance and family law. Please visit my website www.striglaw.com .  I do not have clients seeking to stop judges from getting appointed but I do represent unsuspecting victims getting shot while sitting on the can.

 

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The Midwest Book Review has referred to Marcel Strigberger as "an irrepressible humorist with a story teller’s flair for spinning a yarn with true (and hysterically funny) insights into the basics of human nature".

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